June 2008
154 posts
http://twitpic.com/2z50 - If I point the _top_ of the iPhone at yonder mountain I get 3 bars.
Overheard: “…literally ironic.” Head spinning.
http://twitpic.com/2vjt - Fire fire fire
Mixing Arizona and Mexican beer. Internal border dispute. INS not needed.
I love the smell of WD40 in the morning.
She’s leaving home after fixing a hole for the benefit of Mr. Kite
If you put long URLs in your magazine, you don’t understand either URLs or magazines. Unrelated: I hate magazines and newspapers.
is well into his first vacation heartburn.
Vacation started at 5:00pm. Pants came off, kilt went on. Kilt comes off July 6 at midnight. Yeah I’m _that_ guy. Unrelated: my junk is cold
I am so unhappy I found this:
http://paul3.com/
F3J World Championship 2008 - Turkey →
I hope you are rooting for team USA.
5:00. Time to take the pants off.
Tonight the nose hair trimmer finds no purchase in either ear. The last bastion of youthfulness remains unbreached.
As the auto loan shrinks the credit card grows. When they meet in the middle I will kill them both. Unrelated: stimulus check is spent aredy
Either @alexalbrecht has never read a tweet, or his followers are all fanboys who won’t tell him he is doing it all wrong. TIP:be more funny
Tipping point where the alcohol intake exceeds the amount of restraint one has for posting comments on every fucking blog today? I am there.
Wow, I am taller than Ahnold? Axel? Babe Ruth? Also: Hollywood is nearly all short people. http://is.gd/Etn
Boy George towers over Bono. Bob Saget and I are on equal ground. http://is.gd/Etn
waketime worktime lunchtime meetingtime hometime dinnertime bathtime bedtime twittertime sleeptime repeat
The Fonz, The Dude, Batman, Clark Griswold, Sean Connery’s James Bond
showering with @scobleizer. yep, still funny.
In the future, waiters will be replaced by robots. however, there will still be waitresses.
Scrotum gift shop →
Neighborhood - Superstition →
Neighborhood - Tempe Gardens
→
Went to the talkies yesterday. When did they install those comfy seats? It was better than my living room.
I bought a new laptop mouse and it clicks like butter. Although if butter clicked, we probably would not eat it.
It just seems right to assemble Ikea furniture nude.
It’s my birthday. I’m not going to ask you to favr this tweet. I am pretty much telling you to, or GYPSY CURSE on your LOINS.
Yes I think this song is about me, because you keep addressing me in it, Ms. Simon.
Upgrade an Unproductive Day by Mentally Rehearsing... →
Men watch gymnastics for all the wrong reasons.
Ticker at the bottom of the TV: an EXCESSIVE HEAT WARNING is in effect for Maricopa county until 8PM. Gee thanks for that update. I know hot
Trying to craft a funny tweet about the Large Hadron Collider. These are my notes so far: Poop, Large Hadron Collider (dick joke) punchline.
http://twitpic.com/2lxq - Mmmmm. Cheap Mexican food.
“Watermelon In Easter Hay” makes me miss Zappa being alive.
Russian fans are rowdy, but the Dutch got the hotties. Except that one kid in the hat - did anyone see that? Like a Stephen King Character.
“Sorry, FIFA.com videos cannot be viewed on a Mac OS.” I guess I am going back to real sports.
World cup drinking game: drink whenever the ball is kicked. Sht out of beer already.
No @YLNT this week and I am sad like a hungry puppy with a subprime mortgage and a nasty case of Sacks-Minnelli disease.
My life needs more Oingo Boingo.